We had another real Housewives double-header last night, with real Housewives of Orange county making its eight season debut before the second part of the real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. I was anxious that the reunion need to be incredibly boring if they were hiding it behind the OC premiere instead of giving the episode its own week, which a lot of reunions have for at least one of their segments. Neither of Beverly Hills’ two parts had that leisure, and unfortunately, it was because nothing much interesting was said.
The OC premiere was a little a lot more successful, mostly because Vicky is still a stark, raving lunatic who has now inserted foreign objects into her face. a lot of of the rest of the premiere felt like a mid-season episode, which might bode poorly for the enjoyment value of the season to come. Still, let’s have a recap. É pra isso que eu estou aqui.
1. Vicky had a chin implant. For the love of everything holy, if I had made a list of cosmetic procedures I thought might improve Vicky’s facial appearance, a chin implant would not have been in the top 30. If I’ve learned anything from living in a neighborhood with lots of rich older women who have had odd plastic surgery, it’s that implants and injectables are bad, modest lifts are good. instead of getting a facelift, which is really all that Vicky would have needed if she was unhappy with her loose skin, she just tried to fill the loose skin with random junk.
2. Vicky broke up with Brooks. Então você sabe. One good decision, one bad decision. Par for the course, nearly literally.
3. Or did she break up with Brooks? a lot more TO COME.
4. Tamra and Eddie have moved in together and did start a fitness studio. There’s trouble in paradise, though, because Eddie doesn’t want Tamra to wear her shoes on the carpet. Don’t let the man get you down, Tamra.
5. Brianna had her baby. Vicky’s now a grandma, which will no doubt inspire a half dozen a lot more ill-advised cosmetic procedures. Also, I’m pretty sure she had pipe cleaners glued to her eyelids for her interviews instead of fake lashes. Unrelated, but still worth noting.
6. Tamra and Vicky still hate each other and everyone still hates Alexis. Or at least Tamra, Gretchen and Heather hate her, which might as well be everybody. For the record, I still hate Alexis too, even though I think she looks great without all her fake hair.
7. earth Jesus thinks he’s an art connoisseur. That’s it, that’s the joke.
8. Alexis thinks that if she keeps saying she got bullied, it’ll eventually be true. Sure, the women weren’t incredibly great to her, but all the stuff they said in Costa Rica last year was stuff that someone needed to say to Alexis. She is a shallow, materialistic faux-snob who acts better than everyone else out of the transparently insecure hope that maybe, someday, people will believe her. trying to alert someone to their own bad behavior, however indelicately, is not bullying.
9. Heather put Tamra and Vicky across from each other at her dinner party. That’s a incredibly amateur hostess mistake – if two people don’t get along, you put them on the same side of the table, but with at least one person between them. maybe Heather wants someone to get forcibly drowned in her new pool, though.
10. Do we like any of these women? toward the end of the episode when they were setting up the fights for next week, it struck me that I don’t think I have much, if any, genuine affection for any individual on this cast. Vicky is a dumpster fire of a human being. Tamra is funny, but craven and mean. Gretchen’s just on the show to push her various poorly conceived product lines. Alexis has a great new haircut, and that’s the only positive thing I can say about her. If Heather says “champs” one a lot more time, I’ll hunt her down and personally throttle her. In all the other versions of this series, there are people for whom I root in spite of their faults. In the OC, I just want to enjoy the world burn.
And now for the reunion…
1. Kyle tried to gloss over the difficulties in Adrienne’s marriage but Lisa wouldn’t let her finish her story. Kyle’s been team Adrienne all season, of coure, and when Andy asked about their marriage, she started in with the normal platitudes about how she thought their bickering was charming and normal for them, but Lisa cut in and said that, actually, things have been bad for a while and Paul had moved out before. Clearly, there are future commissions to be had from Adrienne and Paul, so Kyle’s still walking the company line.
2. pretty much all of the Housewives seem to think that Adrienne’s using her personal chef to plant bad things about Paul in the press. It certainly lends credence to what Brandi and Lisa have been saying all season about Bernie’s involvement, and not even Kyle spoke up to contradict the speculation that Bernie was making false abuse allegations against Paul and that Adrienne was likely on board com ele. Sempre fui inflexível em minha crença, Taylor foi abusado genuinamente e continuamente por Russell, e tenho a mesma certeza de que Paul não estava fazendo a mesma coisa com Adrienne. Nada sobre a dinâmica do relacionamento deles mostra quaisquer sinais de alerta e, ao contrário de Taylor, não há histórico médico documentado de lesões ou incidentes. Se o resto do elenco estiver certo, Adrienne pode ser a pior pessoa que já tivemos nas donas de casa reais. Há pouco mais do que fazer acusações falsas de abuso. É como relatar falsamente um estupro; A mentira só torna muito mais difícil para as vítimas reais levarem a sério e ter seus atacantes processados.
3. Kim pode ou não ter cocô em seu travesseiro. Eu senti como se tivéssemos encoberto sobre este – de onde veio o cocô? Por que Kim aparentemente admitiu que havia cocô? Qual é a história em torno do cocô? Fale sobre enterrar o lede aqui, Bravo.
4. Ok, foi dito mal, mas eu meio que entendi o que Brandi estava dizendo sobre a sobriedade de Kyle e Kim. Não, não acho que Kyle esteja “esperando” para Kim falhar. Eu acho que Kyle está regularmente tentando se lembrar de que algo poderia dar errado, porque ela gosta de se autodestruir por décadas, e obter suas esperanças para uma recuperação 100% bem-sucedida precisa parecer um risco emocional horrível. Não culpo Kyle por tentar modelar suas expectativas, e acho que isso pode parecer que Kyle não foi impressionado com os esforços de Kim e talvez até desejando que ela se apresse e falhe e acabasse com isso. Eu não acho que é isso que realmente é, e acho que Brandi deve ter pensado um pouco mais antes que ela dissesse isso, mas posso ver de onde viria o sentimento generalizado e por que Kyle agiria dessa maneira.
5. Paul não odeia mais Brandi, mas Adrienne ainda o faz. Paul pelo menos se preocupou em filmar uma pequena declaração para a reunião, o que é muito mais do que podemos dizer para sua ex-esposa, que aparentemente espera que todos esqueçamos que ela existe, mas ainda assim pegam seus sapatos terríveis e vodka com sabor nojento.
6. As maquinações imobiliárias de Kyle e Mauricio são cada vez mais transparentes. Mesmo enquanto Mauricio estava alegando que ele e Kyle não sustentavam Adrienne e Paul em compra para obter o fornecimento quando venderam sua casa, ele não pôde deixar de se gabar disso quando conseguiu a lista, ele a vendeu em duas semanas . Realmente convincente lá, pessoal. Quero dizer, Bravo cortou a parte em que Mauricio distribuiu seu cartão de serviço a todos na reunião da reunião.